Growing up, I was always very shy and reserved. I never spoke my true opinion. I wanted to make sure that I made everyone happy and that I was liked. I was very much a pleaser.
This went so far that it took me 25 years to finally tell hugsum that I do NOT like submarine sandwiches! This was a huge shock to him. That is one of his favorite meals. He absolutely LOVES a good submarine. Our first year of marriage we lived in West Palm Beach, Florida. We would drive a little over an hour to Ft. Lauderdale to a special sub place.
I endured and ate and held back gags... then one day I fessed up... I think he has been in mourning ever since. When I'm not around, or he is eating with someone else, he will go for the subs.
Having grown up as a Preachers Kid, and then being the Pastor's Wife... I just learned to not rock the boat, be nice, bite my tongue and go along... take what was given me...
Then, 9 years ago I announced that when I turn 60, I am going to say whatever I want and not hold back. Again, hugsum was shocked. He did not realize that I had been doing that. I told him that I would take it slow and begin to practice it and he had fair warning.
I'm not 60 yet. I have one more year... but, today, on my 59th birthday, I'm gearing up.... I plan to enjoy my age! I've worked hard to get here! I'm always going to be nice about it, but I do not have to say "yes" when I want to say "no". I do not have to eat submarine sandwiches just because that's what is offered me. I can suggest an alternative. I can step outside my box.
It has taken me 59 years to come into my "own". It has taken me stepping out of my comfort zone and owning my life... taking responsibility for my actions, my desires and dreams and stepping out to accomplish them.
I'm loving my life now. I am not intimidated or frustrated. I am very comfortable in my wrinkled, baggy skin. I like me. There truly are huge benefits to growing older - not OLD, just mature.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
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8 comments:
Happy Birthday Merrie!! I love that you are embracing the place God has brought you to. I'm right behind you. I set a goal a long time ago to age gracefully. Seems to me you are doing just that! Happy day, happy year, happiness to Merrie.
Happy Birthday Merrie,
I found your blog from the Preachers-wife...
I am a pastor's wife too.
Hope you have a wonderful day!
Sweet Blessings,
DeeDee
Happy Birthday, mom! I feel for dad next year...he he he
I am only 30 (almost 31), but can so relate to this post...on many levels. I, too, have a problem with saying "no." I sacrifice my own desires to keep everyone happy...and I end up severely disappointed in the end.
Thank you for this post. And a VERY VERY happy birthday to YOU! You deserve it!!!
Recently I was listening to a CD teaching and the preacher said, "You do not have the right to die disappointed". WOW.
Can relate to you on so many levels. Have had all those problems because of religion, not because of being a PK or Pastors Wife.
You are a special blessing my friend.
Happy Belated Birthday! What a wonderful lesson we all should learn no matter what our age! Thanks for sharing and thanks for visiting my blog!
Happy belated Bday, sweet friend. Your pure heart comes through in this post, and just confirms how precious you are.
Wow! Just came across your blog and it discribes me perfectly. Been there, done that, and now I am truly enjoying life w/husband and family. God has blessed me so much, may he do the same for you. Have a great day. Carol NY
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