That was the day that I "grew up". I hate to admit how old I was. Also, I hate to admit that I fell back into the pattern of waiting on someone else to manage my life.
When I let others determine my life and my agenda, then I become very frustrated, angry and almost depressed because I think, "what's the use? I have no control or say so..."
I think that it all started because I am the "baby" of the family. I was always "too young", "too little", "too tired", "not strong enough", "didn't know how" or "had never done it before". So many excuses for NOT doing. This went with me into my adult years... I won't say adulthood, because I had not reached that maturity.
We are to "leave those things behind and press toward the mark of the high calling..." When we are children, we are expected to act like children, but then we are also expected to grow up and be responsible!
Part of that growing up is to own up to where we are and what we are doing.
Yes, I might have been mistreated as a child (I wasn't by the way) but I can't allow what happened to me or didn't happen to me to determine how I act now. I may have failed at some things ( I did), but that does not mean that I am a failure and can no longer even try anything else. There are quite a few things that I started and never finished - but I can still start new things.
When we allow our past to determine our future then we are denying the power of God in our lives. He makes all things new. His mercies are new every morning. We do not have to live in past regrets and mistakes.
It is time to move forward... to BE all that we were created to be. To realize that if we want to accomplish things in life, that we must take action - it will not be done for us. Where we are is not because of what we did not get or what was done to us. Where we are is because we decided not to move forward. Think about where you want to be and make steps in that direction. Then you will be responsible for where you end up.