Wednesday, January 7, 2009


I'm torn...
In past times I have loved and enjoyed leading Bible studies, teaching Sunday School and also weight loss groups. I have spent hours and hours digging into the Word and preparing. It was so very rewarding. I loved every minute of study and sharing.

I loved the relationships that were formed and grew during this heart sharing time.
In the past few years I have gradually pulled back and not done this. Part of it has been the Sunday schedule that prevented me from being a part of Sunday School, the work schedule, the lack of interest and my own school load.

Where we are pastoring now, they do not have any Bible study. I have been asked (by hugsum) to please start one. I have to admit that I panicked. I immediately became stressed. I do NOT want to commit to leading one.

It isn't that I don't want to DO a Bible study - it is that I don't want to LEAD one there.

I had already figured out that 1/3 of my life is spent in our weekend parsonage. To lead a Bible study there would mean that I would need to go up another night a week. I can't imagine how I can work that into my already "fruitful" schedule.

My dilemma comes from the guilt that I feel in not doing something for God. I am already committed to doing so many other things. Have I over committed myself to things I should not be doing? They are all necessary and things that I know I'm to do.

My faith is weak here... I do not feel that I can add one more thing to my life right now.
My heart says that I should never say "no" to sharing God's Word.... my flesh screams "I CAN'T DO THIS!"

I'll let you know how it turns out....
Are you in the same boat?


lmerie said...

The thought of leading even kid's sunday school is awful for me. I do not like to teach/lead! But I do understand your pull (I did do sunday school for a couple months in a rotation they had set up).

What if you organized it as a rotation, or helped someone start one and be a support person as opposed to the leader? Then you would not have to be at every single one . . .maybe :)

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh, I feel for you. I would love for you to read a book I just finished (our whole church staff is raeding it) called "Simple Church." It's about churches programming so many opportunities that people are confused and overwhelmed and guilty for not participating in all of it, esp. pastoral staff/spouses. Seriously, I would LOVE for you to read this.

If you feel you must, perhaps you could get a DVD and then just ask discussion questions, not as a "teacher," but discussion facilitator and one who reins in wild tangents. Let me know what you decided to you. My heart goes out to you.

Beverlydru said...

I'm going to pray that the leader will come forth. Maybe it's someone who you and your husband haven't even thought of. And if it IS you, that you'll know.

I have to comment about your statement about "not doing anything for God." Oh Merrie, everything you do is unto God. I can tell!

I find that the guilt and stress come when I an not operating in the BEST place for me at the time. You'll know. If you are supposed to do it, you will get peace about it.

Thanks for sharing so we can pray. I used to always say "yes". Now I give more careful consideration to what I say yes to.


I met the Dale's of Simple Church once. They are precious. Yes, read it!

Once I loved being kids church pastor but suddenly the grace to do that was gone. It has not come back. I have found that if I do just because I think I have to, instead of out of being who God called me to be I'm miserable.....