Evaluating - ME

Okay, so that is a scary thought...

I have just been faced with myself and parts are not very pretty...

I am a pleaser. I want to please people. I want you to like me. I want things to be smooth and peaceful.

I would venture to say that one of my greatest fears is that you would not be "pleased" with me and you would not like me.

Having said that, I have come to realize that I have sold myself. I have not learned who I am. At age 60 that is a very sad commentary. It took me 25 years to tell my husband, who LOVES submarine sandwiches, that I do NOT like them! Yeah, he was shocked! I ate them without a word for 25 years. I hid my gags... and dislike, just to please him. Then one day, I told him. Every now and then, I can eat one and enjoy it. That is also a shock to him.

Sad ... I know ...

There are other things that bother me. There are many things that I have prayed/asked to receive but after having them, I soon find out that I really don't want them or am disappointed or they have become a bondage.

Then, I become a complainer and murmurer. Neither one is very befitting someone named "merrie"!

I have become my mama... She was good at being nice and sweet to your face, but to everyone else complain about what was going on and how she was being "used"...

Last night I was told that I was acting like a martyr. Pretty painful confrontation - but no offense taken because I was seeking answers.

So, in self reflection (with the help of the Holy Spirit) I have determined that I do not know myself and to my own self have not been true.

I have said one thing and meant another because I was trying to please and not hurt feelings. When the result has been that I have hurt myself.... again, SAD!

Fear of rejection pales in the light that the One who matters, loves me and did not reject me and will not reject me and will never leave me nor forsake me. In the light of that, I have NOTHING to fear!

So, I'm on a quest to become fully me. I am going to stop worrying about pleasing anyone but Jesus. I am going to seek after being all that I was created to be.

I'm sorry if you don't like me anymore. I'm sorry if you aren't pleased. I'm no longer going to seek your approval.

ahhhhhh, peace, joy, contentment!!!!!!

Good Tweets

I've been really blessed lately by some tweets. I don't normally "tweet" myself, but I do enjoy reading a couple of my tweet friends. They are generations apart in age, but their wisdom is common. One is my age and others are my children's age.

Some of these little bits of wisdom have changed my day and my attitude and hit between the eyes at just the right time.

"I talk to myself. Today it's: I know what to do, what to say, where to go. I'm in the know. God has put within me the ability to produce wealth!" (Beverly)

"Love keeps no record of wrongs, but bitterness keeps detailed accounts." C.Groeschel (Jon)

"People keep God at an arms length so they can pull Him close when they want Him and push Him away when they don't" (Jon)

"When what you are saying makes no sense, talking louder won't clarify your meaning." (Mandy)

"I must realize that my obedience even in the small details has all the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind ..." (Beverly)

"The fastest way to pass your own expectations is to add passion to your labor." - Mike Litman (Beverly)

"Fear is the 3rd party in most transactions. Salespeople fear rejection, failure. Client fears YOU! Salespeople are viewed as fear creators." (Beverly)

"Everything is sales. My experience is parenting is the most important sales position out there!" - Zig Ziglar (Beverly)

"You don't have to understand everything to believe in something" (Jon)

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own." -Benjamin Disraeli (Beverly)

Summe 2010

Well..... hello there.... it's been such a long long time....
How ya doin?
We've been doin' fine!

How's the family?
Please give them our love...

Talk with you later....
Gotta go run and get some stuff done. Ethan is asleep and the yard is calling... the pool looks amazing! Maybe I'll venture in later on today....
Come join me if you'd like...